Tolstoy noted in one of his novels that "all happy families are alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Perhaps, everyone would like to know the secret of family happiness, but there are no universal recipes. But a couple of useful tips will always come in handy. First of all, much is built on mutual understanding. Relationships between spouses depend, among other things, on how much they can listen and hear each other.

Building relationships between spouses

Therefore, happiness in marriage is work and, first of all, on oneself. Before demanding something from another, isn’t it better to first answer yourself: is the other half comfortable with me?

When you are sure that your husband is a perfect egoist, a backbone and a reptile, it would be good to analyze at what point he became the bearer of these unflattering definitions for you. To do this, it’s good to know a few typical mistakes of spouses. Perhaps, after all, that you are far from an angel.

1. “You don’t love me” - usually such a meaning is put into this phrase that if you loved, you would know my preferences, what I want, what I dream about. But this is a complete fallacy. If someone can read the minds of other people, then there will be few of them. The rest is simply not given to guess your mood and secret desires. Your other half is no exception. Even having lived together for many years, people do not always know what the other needs. Therefore, an important point is the ability to establish a connection, for this sometimes a heart-to-heart talk is enough.

Ideal or not

2. Do not make from another ideal. Some ladies act recklessly when they think they can fashion an ideal out of their spouse . To the great regret of lovers of perfection, there are no ideal people. Moreover, as soon as you seek to remake a person, he begins to resist. Relations deteriorate. Because no one wants to change their nature, however, just like you yourself. Therefore, accept the person as he is. Otherwise, you risk losing it. And the prospect of a single woman is unenviable. And life with an ideal is also not very interesting. Just imagine: you got the man of your dreams, so what? He does everything as you want, comes only from the best of intentions, any of his actions are predictable. You just thought, and he already did - boring.

3. Don't make yourself perfect. Sometimes, wives, especially young ones, rush to the other extreme - they try to be the perfect wife. They strive to guess all the desires of their husband, demand from themselves an impeccable understanding of any situation and the right decisions in all matters. But, just as in the first case, we can say that the standard does not exist. As soon as you strive to please or become so good that it is impossible to find fault with you, unfortunately, you become uninteresting. Only natural behavior gives you a special charm, in fact, it was for your individual characteristics that your husband preferred you. Believe me, you are already good enough to be loved. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, no one is perfect.

Family conflicts

4. Neither with you nor without you. Family conflicts are one of the options for relationships. At times, the apparent fragility of such an alliance does not live up to expectations. Because for such couples, regular showdowns are the only option for living together. They probably get a drive from the constant splashing of emotions.

5. I listen, but I do not hear. When one of the spouses constantly grumbles, expresses dissatisfaction, perhaps at this moment he is trying to convey to the second half the discomfort that he experiences from mutual relations. However, if the other half does not react to this in any way, the question hangs in the air and threatens to one day turn into a serious conflict and even divorce . Conclusion: you need to be able to listen and hear what they say to you. By not paying attention, you risk losing an emotional connection with a loved one.

6. Fat point in a relationship. It does not mean the final point followed by a break. It is very important to be able to express your point of view in a language understandable to your other half. Of course, screaming is one option, but whether you will be heard in this case is a big question. Be able to convey your position calmly and clearly. Then there will be more chances to find a compromise, which means making living together more comfortable.