A "bad peace" is always better than a "good quarrel". Perhaps these words are very suitable for a situation where the family is on the verge of collapse. Because divorce is the worst scenario for resolving a family conflict. Even if the spouses had claims against each other, could not find a common language to resolve contentious issues, anyway, a break is an extreme measure, after which many do not have a return to the past. Although it is after a divorce that many realize their mistakes, the lost cannot be returned.

Married life

Husband and wife are given to each other to become one. The greatest resistance, as they say, the test for "lice" comes in the first years of marriage. Before marriage, each of them had their own bachelor habits, their own ideas about married life, and a lot of things that had to be learned from personal experience. However, in marriage, many internal foundations change. Egoism is gradually erased, it is replaced by partnership, and, finally, a complete merging of souls. That is, physically it is still two people, but at the spiritual level it is a single whole, the existence of which is inconceivable without the other half.

Before the relationship moves into the final stage (the stage of spiritual unity), they must undergo trials. What is a test of strength for spouses. Why does this test sometimes end with the termination of relations. Each situation is unique here. But a common reason is the unwillingness to understand or hear the other person.

Some psychologists confirm that everything a man has achieved in this life is the merit of his wife. Of course, the meaning should not be taken literally (for example, that the wife developed some projects instead of her husband, although this is also not excluded), it refers more to the role of the wife in her husband's life. After all, for a man to reach heights at work, he must have a reliable rear - that is, a house, a family. Emotional support, mutual understanding is very important when he, tired, comes home. And a hot dinner on the table on time is also a big plus. And if this is not the case? How does he feel: the whole day “in the fields”, he comes home, and there the “drinking” wife begins to force, sort things out.

Of course, most offended wives will object, they will say that it is all his fault: he does not come home on time, he hides his salary, he constantly drinks, and, finally, he got himself a mistress. Well, with all these arguments, how to justify it? Key point: why is all this happening to your husband? Haven't you created the conditions for these situations. After all, if you look, drunkenness - from dissatisfaction with life, avoiding problems. The mistress, oddly enough, also appeared for these reasons. If a husband has forgotten when he saw his wife beautiful, well-groomed, as they say, at the parade, how can he not look in the direction of an interesting and attractive woman who never grumbles.

The point is that before putting forward your claims to your partner, maybe you should pay attention to yourself, your behavior? "Seeing the mote in someone else's eye" is much easier than in our own "log". So looking at yourself from the outside can give answers to many questions. It also does not hurt to clarify the relationship in the form of a heart-to-heart talk. This method helps a lot to understand what is the reason for the actions of another. But if nothing is done, but only aggravate the situation with the help of claims, then estrangement is inevitable. And behind him is a gap.

After divorce

When divorce has already become a fact, the best action in this situation is to start everything from scratch. However, there are two options here. In the first case, you realized your mistakes and would like to correct them. Therefore, if your husband did not leave for another woman, but simply left you, there is a chance to return everything to normal. To do this, try to arrange a meeting to present your new opinion, and perhaps apologize. Pacify your pride, it has already led to what is at the moment. Some women, for some reason, think that the ex-husband will “crawl on his knees” and ask for forgiveness. Such a consumer position is often a failure. If you want respect, show similar behavior to a loved one.

In another case, when the husband left for another woman ( the love triangle reveals itself sooner or later), you puzzle over the question, why did she turn out to be better than you? Rather, it should be clearer to you what kind of quality, important for your ex-spouse, he found on the side. That lady, perhaps, has more minuses in her character than you. But for one big plus, your husband went to this woman. Although, by and large, many men (according to polls) confirmed that life with a new woman was not much better than with the old one. Because in the first marriage, people have already passed a certain segment of the joint path and got used to each other's features, developed common views on some things. In a new place, everything will have to start from scratch. Therefore, think, you have time to admit your mistakes. There are cases when the prodigal husband returned back.

However, it must be admitted that the initiative to break family ties more often belongs to women. It is they who are no longer ready to put up with the existing situation and intend to radically change their lives. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. And if it so happened that you put an end to family relationships, do not rush to find new ones. Often, a woman, afraid of losing time and being left alone, "throws herself on the neck" of the first person she meets and, naturally, receives a new portion of disappointment. You just need to understand that spiritual wounds do not heal quickly. You need at least a year to reconsider, to experience negative impressions. There is no need to rush to arrange your personal life after a divorce momentarily. Let your heart recover. To do this, it is better to do your favorite job, find a hobby that will distract you from caustic thoughts. As they say, time is the best doctor. If you have already decided to start life anew, try to accept your past for what it is and let go. Only after you can calmly, without emotions be able to remember the past, it will be easier for you to start a new relationship.

And remember, the well-known expression “everything that is done is for the better” is always relevant. Every person deserves what he has.