Tired of your husband's friends?

Any of us have friends and acquaintances with whom we periodically meet to consult about something, remember the past and just chat. But there is a reasonable limit to everything. It is one thing when a person is single and free to meet with friends as much as he wants and anywhere. Another question is when he already has a family (i.e., a certain share of responsibility), and he still devotes a lot of time to friendly parties. Sometimes friends strain the situation in the family even more than boring relatives .

Moreover, the variations can be different: either they all meet together at the apartment of a married friend, chat violently, drink beer and leave mountains of garbage after gatherings, or the husband constantly goes to such friendly meetings, which take place either on football, or in a billiard club, or in the bath. In general, the wife is not happy with this alignment. In addition, her husband's friends can be trivially annoying with their manners, and a woman does not always want to communicate with men who have their own interests.

It happens that some "comrades" allow themselves to speak unflatteringly about a friend's wife, pointing out that she, they say, does not cook very tasty, is not so beautiful, and in general "what did you find in her." But the highest degree of cynicism, when all this is blurted out in the presence of the wife herself.

Of course, the husband’s friends influence him, but it’s not worth depriving him of communication with them, especially in an ultimatum form, otherwise you risk very seriously spoiling the relationship between you.

Tell me who your friend is...

Much depends on what kind of person your husband is. If he is “soft-bodied”, who does not know how to refuse, then, rather, he is simply used for self-interest: to borrow money, ask for a ride, and for other purposes. Try to have a heart to heart talk with him, explain that you can't be faultless in everything, you need to be able to take your stand when "exploitation" is obvious. In the end, everyone has their own personal affairs, which are much more important. If a person knows how to refuse, then respect for his person increases, he becomes authoritative.

In the event that friends often come to your house and arrange stormy gatherings, you can take the initiative and say that you have your own plans that you would not want to disrupt because of their visit.

The most difficult option is when the form of communication with friends is such that your husband is not at home on an ongoing basis, here, of course, you need to talk to him yourself. Explain to him that you are tired of spending time alone. Just do not take revenge with the same coin: do not start disappearing for days with your girlfriends. So your relationship will cool down altogether. Please suggest an alternative. Suppose you agree that he will devote time to friends on certain days: Tuesday and Thursday (for example), or show imagination and initiative: come up with obligatory tasks. Even more so if you have children. Let the husband take on part of the responsibility for visiting circles and sections by the child. Plus, your joint trips to the water park, circus, and so on will be aimed at family rallying. In the end, if a person lives with you, it means that he respects your feelings and the family is his native nest.

But if it happens that everything becomes indifferent to the husband and he is ready to exchange you for friends, then something is not right in your relationship. This means that there are no mutual interests and goals. He just runs away from the routine or your scandals. Try to analyze at what stage coldness appeared between you and why. Everything always has its reasons. The interests of friends cannot take precedence over the interests of one's own family. Therefore, two native people must find a common language. No one will put family well-being on the line for the sake of friends.

Although it also happens that the wife is categorically against any meetings of her husband with friends, "because that's all against it." This approach leads to action on the principle of "forbidden fruit is sweet." Understand that everyone needs contacts of interest. In the company of friends, your husband switches to alternative communication, because men are united by certain hobbies, and even the notorious football, just like you and your girlfriend go to a sale. In an environment of like-minded people, a person experiences certain emotions. And when there is a switch from one form of communication to another, then life is more interesting.

In other words, it is desirable not to go to extremes on either side.