The eternal theme of fathers and children is always relevant. As they say, little kids are little troubles. So why, when a child grows up, it is more and more difficult to find a common language with him. Most parents would like to have complete control over their child, but he seems to be doing everything out of spite, and nothing can be done about it.

Every problem has its roots. Establishing contact with children begins from early infancy. Parents sometimes do not even suspect how they alienate their own child from themselves with their inexorable methods. And it all starts rather harmlessly: the baby is crying, but the mother is in no hurry to take him in her arms, so that the child is not used to such comfort and would not then manipulate the parental disposition.

Further - more, the mother tries to teach the child to fall asleep alone, in her bed, in her room. Even if the child cries and asks for attention, they ignore him: let him not “sit down on his neck”. Why be surprised when, after many years, the same kid, only already more mature, begins to ignore his parents, does not pay attention to their comments and generally does everything in his own way. But after all, they themselves wanted him to be independent, but instead of the desired result, coldness and misunderstanding arise between loved ones. Education is generally a difficult process, what parents sow, they will then reap throughout their lives.

Overprotection works to the detriment

Another extreme in the actions of parents is excessive attention. Sometimes they get carried away to such an extent that they forget about rationality. For example, a baby eats porridge, why not use the famous jokes in the process: “for mom, for dad, for grandmother ...”, bringing another portion to the crumbs’ mouth. And the baby, by the way, wanted to learn the skill of absorbing the meal himself. Yes, where is it, it is much more convenient for mom to do it herself: both cleaner and faster. So, such a seemingly harmless behavior of the mother leads to the fact that the child gets used to it when his parents do everything for him.

And guardianship for any reason deserves special attention. “Don’t stand at the window - you’ll catch a cold, don’t go into the yard alone - they’ll suddenly offend you ...” As a result, it turns out that the child has been repulsed by any initiative, it’s more convenient for parents: there are no problems with a quiet child. The child grows, but the policy does not change. Then, at school, teachers begin to notice, they say, your boy is completely uninitiated, is not interested in anything, does not participate in any events and does not show himself at all. What was required to be proved: the program laid down in childhood takes root deep in the mind. And no matter how hard you try to stir up your child later, it’s of little use. For what, as they say, they fought.

But life is so unpredictable, so different. In order for a person to be able to fulfill himself, he needs experience: good or bad - it enriches. When a child is protected from everything, he becomes a person unable to take risks where it is really necessary. He is not interested in the spirit of competition, and in general he acts on the principle: "my business is a side." Even if you yourself ask him for help, most likely he will remain deaf to your request.

The other type is the rebel. A child with such a warehouse will never want to put up with the model of behavior imposed by you. He will definitely do it his own way to show you a personal position. Maybe it's worth giving him the opportunity (albeit with reservations, but still), at least it's better if you become allies.

When there are several children in a family

There can be many reasons for misunderstanding between children and parents. One thing is clear - only love gives happiness to both parties. But love is often not enough, especially if there are several children in the family.

Older children are deprived of the attention of their mother and father for one simple reason, that the younger one, if he is still very small, requires more attention to himself. He probably can't walk yet and needs more care.

On the other hand, younger children are offended by the fact that they constantly have to wear things for older ones. After all, every person wants to emphasize their individuality, and if there is no such possibility at all, then there is an insult to everyone and everything. And the fact that there are occasional quarrels between brothers and sisters is also normal. Mutual understanding, as a rule, comes when the younger reaches adolescence, and then they are approximately in the same status as the older one.

Parents need to be patient and listen to their child. After all, he is individual and you need to accept his features. Not always the opinion of the fathers coincides with the thinking of the offspring - this is normal. We must learn to respect each other's opinions, then it is easier to achieve mutual understanding.