The father plays no less important role in the upbringing than the mother. The child needs harmonious development, and he can get such only with the participation of both parents. From the mother, the child takes caress, tenderness, softness. The father is the personification of a strong beginning, protection, confidence.
But often the picture of upbringing looks banal: a tired father comes home from work, has dinner, lies down on the sofa and, at best, as if by the way, asks the child: “Well, how are things at school, come on, carry a diary.” And hastily looks through the pages of academic performance, then gives his son a slap on the back of the head, or a slap on the soft spot - that's all, that's where the upbringing ended.
There is another extreme: the father is obsessed with the idea that his son should become the strongest or the very first in school or in a certain sport. He demands intensive training from the child, and he is never satisfied with the result. As a result, the boy gets tired, feels absolutely no joy about his activities, and generally loses confidence that he is constantly dissatisfied. Moreover, fathers who are resolute do not allow their child to relax, make contemptuous remarks about tears and never help in order to raise a “real man”. Such an approach, on the contrary, undermines the inner core, knocks the ground out from under the feet.
If the image of the father causes negative emotions in the child, then, most likely, he will feel slighted not only in his presence, but also surrounded by other boys and men. Which, no doubt, will affect his future fate, because it is more difficult for people who are squeezed, insecure in themselves to make a career. In childhood, the mother becomes a model for such a child. Therefore, the boy will grow up modest, shy, in general, with character traits characteristic of women. And in this case, it will be difficult for the girl to find a common language with the boys, because the image of the father-offender will always be present in her mind, and she will involuntarily become either afraid to find these same qualities in men, or just such types will be attracted to her, and all because that from childhood she has an attitude: “all men are their own ...”
About positive parenting
However, it is unfair to mention only the negative side without saying a word about the positive influence of the father, and it is undeniable. The father is undoubtedly the ideal for children of both sexes. Boys, as a rule, take the model of their father's behavior as a model and in most cases behave very similarly. After all, when an example is in front of your eyes, the child, like a sponge, absorbs all the features and often imitates. If a father loves, as they say, to hit on women, then all his habits are already manifested in his son in kindergarten. He uses the same demeanor, behaves very similarly with girls.
For girls, dad is the standard of a man. Often daughters subconsciously choose a type similar to their father as their husband. If the father was the breadwinner, then naturally the young lady will look for a man who will provide for the family. Another option is also possible, when the father is the embodiment of kindness, attentiveness, thrift , finally. In this case, the chosen one, according to the girl, will definitely have to show these qualities in himself.
Actually, all ideals come from childhood. Therefore, if you, as a mother, see a certain influence of the father, it may not always be the best thing for you to talk to your husband about this topic. After all, you both play a role in shaping your child's personality. Think about how he will grow, based on the current situation.
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